Return of the Lump

I have felt lumpy again for the last couple of days. I was in a real funk late last week, and feeling blue. But I think I am past it now (blasted hormones again!) But I decided to be lumpy yesterday. Sometimes, it feels good to just decide to do nothing. The house is falling apart, the laundry needs to be done, and the kids were misbehaving. Me, I went to my room and read a book. I took a short break to go and help my Mom with some of her moving. And then back to my room.

I think my Mom's move may be affecting me more than I realize. She is going home, to the small town we are from. To where my sister lives. And for the first time ever....I am going to be alone here. No family. My Aunt is here, but I think she won't stick around long after Mother leaves. I'm almost 38, but I have never lived without family close to me. And we have nothing to do with Barry's family (bad blood there, no loss!). So I am alone. It feels odd. I am very self sufficient. I don't ask for help much. But knowing Mom was walking distance in a pinch was very comforting. Duncan is a 3 hour drive from here. Well, 4 hours, but I drive very fast. The last time Mom was this far away, was when I lived in Duncan and she was in Phoenix. But then...I was a teenager. I lived with Dad. I hadn't realized how important Mom was. (We tend to forget how much we need our parents during the teen years, and we don't remember until adulthood or when our first child is born).

So anyway, as of tomorrow....I am flying solo. I think I'm going to stay in bed for a week. That'll make everything better.