I'm Sad Today

I was working on a layout today when I got the phone call telling me that a friend of mine has lost her battle with cancer. I don't want to be sad, because she wouldn't want me to be sad. She had such perfect faith. She knew exactly what and where she was going to when she died. She wasn't afraid. She was at peace. But I can't help being sad and crying because I feel that my life has been diminished a little by her death. Since I am so uncomfortable around people, I didn't tell her how much I admired and loved her. I never told her how much knowing her has enriched my life. I hope she knew though. I think she did. I remember the day we were at the park and she shared her fear over finding a lump. I remember her laughter and joking when her hair started to grow back after the first round of chemo. I am going to miss seeing her. I worry about her husband and her six kids. I am very close to her two youngest. I need to make sure I am available to them. I taught them at church several years ago and they still come to me for hugs and talks all the time. Today, I am just very sad.